little boy blue

declan has had a rough go, pretty much since the day we got him. lots and lots of uncontrolable crying and screaming. unanounced for hours, sometimes even days at a time. he would stop eating, stop sleeping - for days at a time. just screamed for four day cycles.

the whole time we lived in taipei, we racked our brains - was it collic, his belly, his ears, issues with bonding? please, God, help us help this little boy. the only thing that seemed to help was for me to put him in the ergo carrier, bouncing him pretty roughly, and patting/light pounding on his back. that worked sometimes. noone else seemed to be able to help. not daddy. not friends. not other mommies with "the touch." my back couldn't take how often he needed this process. we sat an rocked for hours, while nothing seemed to affect how he felt, or console him.

around 16-18 months, declan started changing. he started going to other people. tentatively, but willingly. he mostly stopped the uncontrolable screaming fits. he still cried a lot. but the screaming subsided. he still wasn't sleeping well, but during the day, we started seeing smiles. it was miraculous. all of the time we had put in with him - these smiles were our rewards that we longed for.

a little over a month ago, i was talking with some friends about their kids food allergies. i was thinking how thankful i was that, thus far, we had not dealt with any food issues. but the direction of the conversation turned to sleep habits, and how taking milk out of their diet helped - tremendously.

none of us has had much sleep in the last 18+ months, but we've had some unusual circumstances. but it really got me to thinking. i took all three boys off all milk products, just for the sake of trying. and do you know, it helped. quin has started sleeping through the whole night, with very few exeptions. maybe once during the week, he'll wake up. but he can be consoled, and go back to sleep. camden is only waking up once or twice in the middle of the night. still the terrible dreams, and waking up terrified - but he can be consoled and put back to sleep. those are pretty HUGE steps in our household. declan started sleeping better, but still was waking 5-6 times per night.

then the eureka moment happened. we had been out at a function, home late, hadn't eaten, and everyone was hungry. (about to hungry in their pants, if you ask sean.) of course, there was nothing prepared. i grabbed a pound of hamburger and fried up some burgers to feed the bellies. no buns, no veggies. get them fed and in bed.

declan had the worst night of his life, since we've had him. i was up with him several times after i put him down, and then at 1am, he was in obvious pain. the familiar scream returned. from 1-4:30 we rocked, and rocked. he had a terrible belly ache. i did bicycles with his legs, situps, rubbed in clockwise motion. oh the poor little guy. and then, it was done. and he slept peacefully the rest of the night.

so, i emailed our wonderful dr. monk. was it possible? is it a possibility that he's having trouble digesting protein? he gave me some info on "blue people". (it's a test that groups people into three categories that indicates similar physical problems, liked to food issues, related to colors that weaken a muscle test response.) in all likelyhood, all three boys probably fall into the blue category, and would explain some of why they responded to taking them off milk.

so, for our initial test, we took declan off all animal proteins. and do you know, the little boy has slept through the night ever since.

well, with the exception of last night. we had a friend's birthday party at chucky cheeze pizza. i had a granola bar that i thought i had packed for him, but left it on the counter at home. i thought, well, this will be a good indicator. one piece of cheese pizza. how bad could it be? declan and i were up most of the night. definately landed on some real answers for this little guy!

we still need to go in and see dr. monk. for peace of mind, i want the official tests run. there are some enzymes that will probably help for the times when he does have animal protein. but for now, our sweet little declan is on a strictly vegan diet. not my favorite pick. but can we tell you how grateful we are for the beginning of some answers.

looking back, declan gave up his bottle at 16 mo. - and that is precicely the timeframe of when we started seeing him change. and like all mamas that want their babies to sleep through the night, i would fill him up before bedtime. making sure he had plenty of meat to help fill his belly, and last through the night. it's all coming together.

the changes we are seeing in our little guy in the last week are pretty remarkable. he smiles, laughs, giggles, is becoming noticably more independant. time will tell how much of who we have known before this discovery, was really symptoms of this belly issue, and how much more our little guy is going to be able to show his true self.

stay tuned.